YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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