he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
