he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
