"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
