either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How naked do you want me to be?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
