Moan for me like Helen Keller
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
