This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
