flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
