So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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