This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
