Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
