i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
