the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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