Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
