Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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