god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
