I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found puke in my bra..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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