Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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