first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
