just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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