? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
