I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
