i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
