No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
