Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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