let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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