Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
