Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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