Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
