Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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