Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
