He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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