never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
either way he was missing a nipple.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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