the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
