yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Green mimosas i think yes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
