Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
