It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Blood and glitter go together right?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
