i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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