he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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