i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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