from now on my penis is your penis
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
