come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
