I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
