Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
