You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
