The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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