My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You can't special order awesome
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
