Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
