Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
