trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
