About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
