This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
