please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
