ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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