Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
